Take your foot out of the world.

 This is a difficult but necessary blog post this Monday, Veteran's Day, Morning. When I started this blog I was writing fiction books for kids and young adults. My walk with God was solid. I was growing in my faith. Fast forward to now, I write horror fiction and screenplays. My church attendance is sporadic to the point that people would ask me on Sunday if I was a first time visitor. 

No kidding.

What happened?

I moved to Los Angeles over ten years ago as God planned. I continued writing for children and young adults and I wrote faith based screenplays. But then I got sucked in to the LA life. The glitter, the glam. The worldliness. I listened to people of faith (different church I no longer am a part of), that told me it was okay, that's how we reach people (even telling me it's okay to use profanity). 

I ignored the Holy Spirit trying to redirect me back to my true love and purpose. I stopped writing my faith fiction and screenplays. I wrote horror. Dark horror. 

I had a moment of clarity in the spring of this year where I came to the realization of what I was writing and how it was not in accordance with my walk as a Christian. I had a choice to make at that point. Turn down an opportunity and remain true to my faith, or chose the world and the opportunity.  

I chose the world. 

My heart broke.

God has been calling me back. Through the book of Daniel. 

See Daniel had the choice to put one foot in the world and keep one foot in the faith, like how I started in LA. But Daniel chose to keep both feet in his faith. He risked everything, including death (lion's den), to stay firm in his faith in God. 

I am taking my foot out of the world. I have replanted myself firmly in my faith. 

Jesus spoke to me and I answered. Yes I will do as you asked. 

So here on this Veteran's Day as we celebrate those (including yours truly), who served our country, I feel an independence from the world. 

You are the light of the world.

You will have tribulation.

Be of good cheer.

Jesus has overcome the world.

Is there uncertainty in letting Jesus lead my writing career/life?

No. 

I am certain in Jesus. I don't need to see every step of the way. It's a leap of faith. Faith as small as a mustard seed.

Here's my seed as I take my foot out of the world. 

What's in a title?

 What's in a title. While it is true that in the world of publishing, authors usually aren't allowed to pick their title, many don't know why that is.  In the world of publishing (and film) there is a business side. On this business side are people whose job it is to sell your work. We call them marketers. The title of your book has to hook the reader enough to make them pull your book off the shelf and immediately go to the back cover description (though some people dive in to read the first chapter). If your title doesn't catch their eye, no matter how amazing your cover art is, people will pass it over. 

Can the same be said for us. What we choose to call ourselves matters. Often the title we give ourselves doesn't match the one the Creator of all things (God), gave us. His title is one that will draw others to us. Make us remember not only who we are, but the path set before us. 

Think about what title you call yourself by and see if you are in line with your true title. 

Update coming

 Greetings all.  A new blog post is coming this week. Stay tuned!

Don't rush

 I can breathe through my nose again. Hooray!  On the wall of my home office I have a whiteboard. It shows project types and due dates. There's a short screenplay listed, as well as a feature screenplay and a novel. In the past I would have blown through each of these writing projects and jumped on another. But one of the things I learned in my year long screenwriting mentorship is "slow down", "don't rush". Do you know there are screenwriters that take years to perfect a script? Novelist that take years to write a novel. It's not that they are bad writers, or inherently slow. They understand that our best work is done at a gradual pace. 

Think about it. Would you want your surgeon to speed through an operation on you,  that he or she knows would take five hours, and complete it in thirty minutes? Of course not. So why do some writers, as I used to be, think that their greatest work can be accomplished at lightning speed? 

Take your time. 

And I get it. I'd love to have sold a screenplay by now. Or have a novel traditionally published. But I also know my best work, my most amazing work, is what I am currently working on. And I am okay with taking my time. 

Please don't rush your process. You may encounter people that push you to turn something in, or to finish your draft. Don't. Use your voice. Say not yet. We owe it to ourselves as writers to give careful consideration to the words and characters and worlds that make up our stories. That kind of weaving takes time. 

Let it.

Short Screenwriting

 Shorts in Screenwriting

Due to this horrific cold I’m enduring, this week’s post will be brief. Let’s talk about writing screenplay shorts. If you think they’re like short stories, your wrong. If you think they’re like flash fiction, your close. Short scripts have to drop you in the middle, give you enough to understand the situation, mix in conflict, escalation, and  then resolve it. Resolution doesn’t mean happily ever after. It means resolve the conflict. You can have a post teaser if you want it mid credits. I’m currently working on another short screenplay that must be done by the end of this month. 

And now this is  the end of this post. 

The unknown path

I was staring at the blank page today. It's time to start a new writing project and I was feeling a moment of uncertainty. Which project should I work on? Should I do a scifi or horror screenplay? Should I do an animated screenplay? What about a YA scifi novel? Each has its own exciting adventure, ready to pull me in. But as I reflected on the past year of a screenwriting mentorship, I had the honor of participating in, I thought about what I've learned. I grew not just as a writer, but as a person.  I have the confidence to tackle any subject and take my characters on a full emotional journey with consequences, triumphs, setbacks, losses and hope. 

The Bible says faith is the substance of things not seen. And it is. Hope is evidence of faith. In the picture above, taken at the Nature Preserve at Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Michigan, there is a path. You can't see what lies beyond the curve. You have an idea, but you really can't see. You see there is a well marked path and you walk on it, fully believing you will arrive where you plan. And you do. 

But the path of life you didn't make, God did. There's curves on that path. Areas you cannot see the outcome of. Hope is for those moments. Faith gets your feet walking. Hope gets your heart pumping. 

I hope as you go through your days this week, you remember to walk in Faith and Hope in the unseen. 

I am going to get to work on my next screenplay. 

 

Push

 

There is something about being outside in nature that instantly calms and awakens my senses.  I'm an avid hiker/outdoors person and this past weekend I decided to visit a new hiking trail in my region of Southern California. The trail wasn't very crowded so there was ample opportunity for quiet contemplation and reflection with Jesus. 

I will be pitching a scifi horror screenplay this week and I have wrestled with the content in it. Is it godly? Is it worldly? I don't want to put forth an image that isn't my true self. I came to realize, that the horror in this screenplay is the reality of so many lives. The original idea came from a traumatic experience of my own. 

My main character choose differently than I did. She pushes when she should stop. She forces when she should be still. She think and believes that she alone knows the solution and ignores wisdom. 

I am a truth teller. Horror is a vessel to tell that truth.  I don't sugar coat anything, because the world doesn't need that. There are brutally emotional moments in my screenplay and they were hard to write. Hard but necessary.  Because we beautiful human make choices; steer our ship towards that iceberg, expecting it to break against our paper thin hull.

When I look at this picture it reminds me that when I hike outside, I lose sense of time and let go of any fear, doubt or worry I may have. I chose to stop. Be still. Not push. Not force. Any door that needs to opened will be. 

I'm looking forward to pitching my screenplay. And I have begun work on another. It is horror. And it's about a family in a fight for their very souls. 

Are you pushing when you should stop? Go take a hike. Seriously. It will change you. 

Seeing with Clarity

 I live in Southern California. One of the most beautiful places on Earth. After a rainstorm passes, and the Sun comes out, you can see for miles. Most beautiful to me are the mountains. Santa Monica mountains. San Gabriel mountains. With perfect clarity, you can see the trails and roads on these mountain ranges. 

In this writing journey of mine, I’ve come to realize that the haze in my writing, was  indicative of my former way of writing:  patterning my scenes and characters after what I’d seen/read before, or worse, based off comments from other writers determined to steer me away from discovering the power of my true voice. You know, it isn’t just others that can cast this haze over our writing voice, we do it to ourselves when we doubt our talent and ability. 

You do not need validation from the world to be who God created you to be!

Let the God rain wash away doubt and feelings of inadequacy. And hey, I get it. For the longest time there was a group of authors I revered. Whose words I took as gold falling from heaven. I’d propped up each person on a pedestal. By doing this I began to believe I could never measure up to these award winning titans of writing. And it diminished my light. Haze took over. 

God has given me so much clarity this year. Allowed me to see people as they really are. Knowledge is power! God didn’t call me to live the lives of those authors. He called me to live mine. My writing has power when I write from my true self. When I let go of false narratives. Let go of thinking other writers are better than me. I am an amazing writer! 

I turned my gaze to my God given path where my purpose lies. And now, here comes the Sun. God’s word is a lamp for our feet and a light for our path. Don’t focus on others. Don’t get discouraged by others who try to pull you down. Focus on God’s light. It will never fail you. 

Be Still and Know

 I had the privilege of attending the Festival of Faith and Writing at Calvin College last week. When you attend a writing focused conference, and a faith based one at that,  you have a set of expectations. "I'll listen to authors, take notes, hear God proclaimed in writing, meet people, drink coffee, hear some creative practices I can incorporate into my work, eat a lot of good food (I'm a foodie), get my favorite author to sign my favorite book, etc. " That absolutely happened, except the book signing part. What I did not expect was there to be another part.  

Fear has been an anchor in my life, holding me captive like a dog chained up to a tree only able to move in a circumference of three feet.  I listened to fear. Believed what it said about me and about my worth in this world and modeled my life around it. 2020 and the pandemic lockdown brought cracks in the anchor of fear; rusting away the heavy chain around my neck. This conference? This conference obliterated the remains of that anchor and chain. 

Every talk and interview I went to I marveled at the boldness and honesty with which the authors spoke and with which they wrote. Is that what authors do? I wondered. Is that what's been holding me back? Keeping me from being traditionally published? Keeping me from more than writing? Fast forward to Saturday and my mind was heavy after an author's talk. I walked over to the Seminary Pond after lunch, as it was a beautiful sunny day, and I had an extra hour and a half before the next author talk...I ended up missing the talk. 

I sat at that Pond on a beautiful piece of white sparkly granite. Me and God. And I wrestled with God. I had to be still to hear Him. And answer Him back. I had heated words. He did not. I had tears. He remained. He repeated the same words to me "Let Go", over and over and over again. And my reply over and over and over again was: No. 

God is patient. And when I had exhausted myself emotionally I had two choices, get up from that rock and go to another talk having missed the one after lunch, or stay and surrender. 

I surrendered. 

There is healing in being still. I like the passage in Romans about renewing your mind, but until Saturday I didn't fully apply that to my life. 

I am going to be working on a book this year for women who have been sexually assaulted and abused. Both were true for me for decades. it's time for us to "Let Go."

Straddling the line

"Do you want to get well," Jesus asked the man. This man had been waiting by a pool of water an Angel stirred (healing properties), infrequently for a long time. Yet when Jesus saw him, he asked him if he wanted to be well. I've read this verse for decades and only now understand. It has nothing to do with the man's physical infirmities, but rather the condition of his heart and mind.  

You sit by the pool daily for who knows how long, months, years and watch others get healed, yet you don't make any attempt to do anything (pray, ask for help, move an inch at a time), to get yourself closer to the pool. 

You haven't normalized failure. You've normalize not believing.

But Desiree, what does that have to do with writing?

Everything. 

There are different types of writers. 

There are writers who are stay at home parents. Writers who teach during the day and come home to write. Writers who write maybe fifteen minutes a day.  Or only on the weekends. 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with that type of writer, if writing is a secondary occupation to you.

But what if writing isn't secondary? What if you want writing to be primary?

But Desiree, there's AI, and there's not as many novels being published (scripts being optioned). There's so many writer's it's a fool's dream to think you can do this full time. 

"Do you want to get well."

Hmm.

Yes. Yes I do. 

You look at that pool long enough and you'll think it was never really meant  for you. You straddle that line of belief and disbelief long enough, your feet are stuck in cement.

You may have asked for help in the past and even had a mentor and left disappointed, unwilling to ask again, without asking yourself if you needed to grow as a writer and believe in your skills, then approach a mentor who can help you specifically in an area that you need help with.

 I get it. I live in Los Angeles. There's plenty of people willing to "help" you for just the right dollar amount. Ignore them. There's so many more that will help you for FREE. 

Plenty of book authors willing to have a conversation, or correspond with you via email for years (true story), as you grow as a writer. 

If you want to be a full time writer, it is time to stop sitting by the pool wishing someone would just help you. Stop straddling the line and plant your feet firmly on the belief side. 

I'm rooting for you.

Be creative

 It's that time of year again...awards season. All of Hollywood anxiously waits to see who will receive the Academy Award next month. I've had the privilege of viewing all of these films, and I can say, there are some amazing films and performances. As a writer I've gorged myself on nominated screenplay after screenplay. I've seen the originality of these screenwriters, whose ranks I will join one day. 

Being a creative my takeaway is this...be creative. Living in Los Angeles, I see and meet many people that are looking to make the next sure thing, chasing a trend, not being their true selves and trusting that, being your true self is what is going to keep your career going. Every single nominated movie, whether for Best Picture, Screenplay, Actor/Actress, Cinematography, Director, Sound, etc. is creative.

So when you sit down to write your play or novel or screenplay. Be yourself and be creative. 

What do I need?

 What do I need?

2023 has turned out to be a fascinating year for me. Fascinating does not always carry a positive connotation. This has been a year of both joy and upheaval. What do you need? As I received news a week ago that shifted my world as I knew it, off of its axis, I had to think about what do I need? What do I really need? And the answers have surprised me. I literally had to, as one of my favorite songs says “go back to my roots”. I remembered the me that played with a chemistry set at age 4. The me that gathered the neighborhood kids together to put on a play that I had written at age 8. The me that spent my childhood, sitting outside, staring up through my telescope at the moon and dreamed of space travel. For as much as my world was knocked off its axis, it needed to be. My world was revolving in the wrong direction. It is now on its perfect course and I am so thankful to God that it is. 

Returning to my first love

 A week in the desert will do wonders for your mind, body and soul. I emerged refreshed and refocused on my writing. I’ve set my goals for this year and I aim to exceed them. I’m back. 

Journey’s End?

 When I started this blog I wanted to chronicle my journey to becoming a full time published author. 

The published part happened. The full time did not. And that’s okay. In the time since I began this blog, I’ve changed. I’ve grown. I’ve opened myself to new experiences. And I’ve taken a leap into my true heart’s desire. 

I still write. Over the past year I’ve written over a half dozen short stories and started a new novel. Wrote 2 screenplays and a TV pilot. 

Writing will always be a part of me as I transition into adding another part to my life. 

Stay tuned. 

Revision

 A quick post as I need to get back to work. I’ve learned that revision is hard work. And now I get it. 

Do it anyway

 This is the shortest blog post I’ve written. If no one will be for you, do it anyway. If people try to “block” your career, move past them. God is the author of our lives. Not people. Have faith. Ignore those people. Keep pursuing your dream. Keep honing your craft. 

Limitations and Expectations

Limitation and Expectations

When Covid swept through the country and the world in 2020, we all thought life would be back to normal by that spring. We are now in June of 2022 and life isn’t the way it was. Death causes me to think and reflect. Another death, causes me to really stop and reflect. 

What limitations have I placed on myself as a woman, as a writer, as a future scientist?

Future scientist? Check out my prior blog post. 

It’s taken me some time to realize my limitations are based on expectations. And how that can be a very flawed way of thinking and living. Family identity and values, tied in with cultural beliefs placed expectations upon me that were never my own. As a woman we are taught to be submissive to the point that we disappear. Our wants, needs, desires are second to others. Love is something that’s okay to dream about but be happy with whatever you get. Your dreams don’t really matter. As a black woman, take all of that and increase it one hundred fold. 

I never wanted to be a medical doctor. I pass out at the sight of blood, yet I was a pre-med major for two years of undergrad because it was expected of me. 

I wanted to be a scientist for NASA. Okay, I wanted to be an astronaut, but NASA had this whole 20/20 vision thing and those are not the eyes God gave me. Though He did give me gorgeous eyes. Thank you Lord. And I love wearing my funky glamour-girl glasses.

As a child I found joy, peace, and comfort in the pages of a book and then in writing my own plays and books and short stories. Those genres I wrote in were: sci-fi, fantasy, horror. Now the horror I know was an add-on as a way for my mind to process trauma. The fantasy was fueled by my daily expedition into the forest around my home. The sci-fi—that was fueled by my nightly star gazing and my science classes.

Girls in STEM was not a thing in my generation. The most we got was: Nurse, Doctor, or Teacher. I wanted to be a scientist. Yet I was constantly steered away from that path, including math teachers that purposefully left me ignorant on the math I would have needed to succeed as a college science major. 

Girls as writers was not a thing in my generation. The most we got was: Teacher, or Social Worker. 

2012 I had a conversation with a writing teacher about how I write novels and screenplays. This person told me I was wrong to do both and that I had to pick one. That I could only write novels or write screenplays. I pointed out to her people like Neil Gamon, Neil Shusterman, Suzanne Collins, Stephen King who write in both formats. Why is it okay for them to write in multiple formats but not me? Is it because none of them are female writers of color? Expectations of otherness. 

2020 I was doing research for a non-fiction book and came across so many people of color that went against the limitations and expectations placed upon them by their own families and by society. I marveled at the people who triumphed during slavery and even during Jim Crow years. They refused to be less than who they were.  Limitations were shattered. 

2022 Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. The ratio of peanut butter to chocolate is perfect. My life is a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. A harmonious blend of Writer and future Scientist. It defies all limitations and expectations for someone like me. 

You don’t have to live a life of limitations and expectations either. 

Start that business.

Move to Italy and open a B&B.

Take that culinary class in Paris in the summer.

Move across country.

Be your full, true self. Give 100% of yourself every day. Don’t be limited anymore. Don’t settle for anyone else’s expectations of you. 

And if you don’t know what you truly want to do in life, or how to achieve it. Take a day. Grab a notebook and pen, or use the notepad feature on your phone. Pray. Mediate. Take a deep breath. Dive in.