Brokenness
This is actually Monday's blog. I'm writing it at 2am Tuesday morning.
I have come to the place where I have nothing left. I have fallen as far as I can.
Reading Stormie Omartin's book "Praying God's will for your life".
Realized how much of my life I still want to control.
Surrendered all those areas of my life to Jesus.
I've been trying to do alot of things on my own, without His blessing or consent. I am broken hearted as a result.
Giving Jesus control is not like giving another person control. He knows what's best for me and He knows the plans God has for me.
My dog died today, which rocked me straight to my core.
I cried all day over it. All day. I blame myself.
I had to push past my grief to finish getting a writing scholarship entry done.
I then read my bible. Something I hadn't done in a long time. My friend Don gave me some good verses to look at, then I moved over to the psalms.
God opened my bible to Habbakuk3:2 the vision verse.
So what did I surrender?
My will.
My need to lead my life, instead of following God's will.
My desires in favor of His guidance.
What do I get in return?
Stay tuned as we find out together.
Oh sister!! I so know the pain of what you are feeling. It is such a "great" place to be although it feels awful. Why do we struggle against our Maker? Is He not the source of all that is good?
ReplyDeleteSurrender for me comes daily, sometimes minutes by minute. When you find yourself picking up the reins again, lay them down once more. His ways are not our ways. I have such peace and hope that He loves us and has a perfect plan for us.
March on sister!! March on!