Holding Back

I went bike riding Saturday.
10 miles in the heat of the day. It had been a long week and I needed to do something. To show I was capable of accomplishing (in my mind), the near impossible.
I had received news that was not favorable. Unexpected? No, but not good nonetheless.
So with sweat dripping into my eyes I made it to mile two. Then I thought to myself: self, I could just stop right here turn around and be done with four miles total. Have you ever had a debate with yourself? Who wins?
Anyway, I said self I can do this. I can go 10 miles. Then my other self said No, what if you run out of steam and can't finish. Your bike tires are old. What if you have a flat tire on mile 5? You need to hold back, keep some in reserve for the end. If we only do four miles there will be plenty left.
For some reason I started thinking about my high school track coach. I ran hurdles but he would always make me run 3 miles with the distance runners before I could do my hurdles workout. He said it was to build endurance. I can still hear him yelling at me "Middleton stretch those long legs". He wanted me to go faster. In my mind was a voice saying "No coach, if I use up all my energy now I won't have any left for the end." Funny thing is my pace never changed from beginning to end.
Fast forward to now. As I'm pedalling my bike it hits me. I hold back, and save a reserve for the end but I never use it. Not just in bike riding, or running, but in life.
What if Jesus lived His life holding back in reserve?
So what did i do? I finished the entire course, and I pushed myself to not hold back. Was it difficult? Yes, but we work hard for that which is important to us.
My writing feels different now. More than it did a year ago. Each night I push myself to go just a little further. Write just five hundred more words here, or finish a scene here.
Do I go to bed exhausted? No. I go to bed energized because I gave my all to my passion, my calling, my dream.
Take some time to examine your life. Where are you not trusting God and holding back?